Zap! is a kind of flavoured milk?

I've developed a bit of a twitch due to an overzealous neurophysiologist this morning, hellbent on establishing not only where my ulnar nerve has struck difficulty but I strongly suspect he was running a pool on how many electric shocks it takes before I cry. To be fair, he was very nice about it all. It wasn't until I left his ward that I was grateful I knew exactly where the toilets where and made a beeline to bawl my eyes out discreetly, fearful of bumping into any med students that I have come to know along the way attempting to play that sport with the round plastic thing, as I don't do delicate and tearful - I do bleary, bright red and snotty.

After fighting with the flying pig of customer service in this country, I spent most of the day on hold to one call centre or another trying to find out where all my goodies are going. Apparently it is very common practice to deliver to your neighbour and NOT leave a card saying exactly where it is. Long story short, I played Who Are The People In Your Neighbourhood* and have introduced myself to half the street to no avail. If you are Mr Vam and you have my mp3 covers, hand 'em over!

Also after many difficulties and a remote controlled plane, I have finally received my mp3 player - a Creative Zen V Plus - only for it to stop working within half an hour leaving me on the brink of toythrowing, or perhaps a nudge past the brink. But thanks to someone infinitely more patient than I am I'm currently listening to Arcade Fire on it as I type... Yay for new toys and Toy Boys.

*Not the same as the version played by Brenda and myself in 2nd year

Restructuring and other corporate-wank words to make you worry

Consultants [referred to by my exAuntyBoss as 'Corporate Seagulls'] have circled our section at work, chattered to our colleagues, cosied up to the politicians and directors and have swooped to deliver the first findings of their verdict. And like seagulls, it appears the aftermath will be messy. I slunk further and further into my chair, thinking every negative criticism was a personal attack on me - obviously everything was my fault and I had let the team down. My old area (still headed by Nobby who has at last found someone to act as his PA, treat him as he is important and most importantly NEVER question him or show the slightest inclination of being able to think for herself. Heaven forbid..) was given praise (which I decided I earn at least a share of). But afterwards my boss informed me the Seagulls had singled me out for praise - which was nice, given that I have never spoken to them, so they are purely going on word of mouth and that I can successfully arrange meetings for them when required. Not to be outdone, I have in my inbox an email from the Uber Echelon saying how awesome I am. Obviously the word 'awesome' was not used, but it was implied.

As happy as I am to be lavished with praise (actually British don't really lavish praise, but you take what you can get), I'm worried that it's undeserved. I still feel like a kid playing dressups in her mummy's wardrobe and any second now I'm going to be caught ruining her favourite lipstick. The other worry is the Restructure (TM) is going to take place while I'm at home for 5 weeks and that any interim RESTRUCTOR (I like how in capitals it sounds like a Transformer, and it would be a Decepticon, I just know it...) will think that they can cope in my absence and restructure me out of a job.... or worse - back into my old job.

Does anyone know anything about unions?